Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Crushed

Everyone has heard the saying, "when it rains, it pours." My friends, I cannot tell you how very true this is. During these times, you get little nuggets of goodness. Then, all hell breaks loose and the rain comes crashing back in on top of you. There is nothing you can do. You sit there helpless. Like a duck or dear about to be shot. It has to be one of the worst feelings possible. To see the light at the end of the tunnel, then have it collapse away like it was never there. You are in the dark. No where to go. Nothing to do. Trapped in the dark sea. Cornered like a rabbit. What to do? Run? Where would you run? Hide? Hiding is to lonely. WHAT DO YOU DO? Call on the Lord? That is the answer I know to be true. But why doesn't He answer? Why can I not know where to look? or what to do? WHAT DO I DO? WHERE DO I GO? No one is there! No one is searching! There is no one to help! Where is the One who has been there the rest of the time? Why did He go away? Why will He not help me? My friends when it rains it pours.

7 comments:

gk said...

This is from an email CT sent me a long time ago. I don't know why I'm posting it here for you, because I know, right now, it isn't what you "want" to hear. But maybe it's what you "need" to hear. Maybe his words will help you, since I'm lacking in my own right now...

"Do you know why you'll be ok?...

Because God is.

Because Your Father is not limited to good times. He's not limited to the things we can see, manage, control, or prevent from happening. Even disasters...

I'm not going to talk down to you or treat you like a child. In many ways you are beyond that. Not in every way, but in many. Instead, I would rather talk to you as your inner voice. The voice you know and recognize, but find it easier to suppress under the overflow of emotion you've ridden lately. It's the voice of your heart and God's Spirit reminding you of ALL the promises that have been kept and ALL the promises that He IS GOING TO KEEP. Right now, your flesh cries, out 'why, why, why?' and you wonder where is God? But deep down the voice that NEEDS TO BE LOUDER is gently saying, 'I'm right there...'

It is more than ok to express your frustrations, feelings, and fears. Just don't let them possess you. Your feelings will always end up failing you, but your faith never will."

He's always been better with words than me.. But I love you, Kev. Call me if you need ANYTHING.

cathy hudler said...

Special K,
I'm so sorry for what all you are going through. I'm praying for you. Love all the Hudler's

David H. said...

I can remember many of the times of us sitting in your living room or car and me freaking out and you basically tell me that I have a friend and that atmist all the chaos it will be alright (bro), I know I don't ynow this situation, but you DO have a friend here, I read today that sometimes we have to stumble to keep us from falling... I hope you can find peace, call me if you need to, and if you don't feel like it, atleast remember that there is someone here, crazy and confused at times (crazy a lot of the time), but here.

Only Servants Ministries said...

I hate sin, I hate suffering, I hate the enemy, I hate pain, I hate seeing those I love ... go through awful things....

... but I thank God that I know what love is.

~CT

Only Servants Ministries said...

Kev,
I watched my man cry yesterday talking about you and what you mean to him. Though you think he means more to you... you'll never know what you mean to him. So it hurts us when you hurt.

"He gives strength to the weary
and strengthens the powerless.
Youths may faint and grow weary
and young mean stumble and fall,
but those who trust in the LORD
will renew their strength;
they WILL soar on wings like eagles;
they WILL run and not grow weary;
they WILL walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:29-31

We love you...
LT

Matt Rollins said...

Hey buddy. You God loves us more than we can imagine, and I think it is because of that He is silent at times. He is always there, but sometimes He is just silent. If He displayed this to a "man after God's own heart", then He will to us as well. You stay on your knees, He never stops listening. You make good decisions. If there is anyone your age I can count on doing that, it is definitely you.

Raising the Rollins' said...

God is there Kev...even in the storms. Keep Him close even if He's silent. We love you and you're in our prayers...