Self Worth

This is kinda long so stick with me. Anyway, because I have only been home once this semester, very few people know about this situation here at school.  First of all, there is... or was this girl (that probably tells you everything) that I really liked. Things were going well and looking up for me and then one evening Kevin opened his mouth a bit more that he should. 

Picture this if you will - I am sitting on the couch with a girl just hanging out watching a movie and what not. Then I open my mouth and words start flying out. As I opened my mouth I really just wanted to shut it and not say a thing at all - but that didn't happen at all. In fact, in a not-so-crazy twist, I said too much resulting in being friend zoned. 

Friend zone - that place is BAD. No me gusta. me no likey. Anyway, we have been friends just hanging out having a good time. Play some disc golf here and there maybe go to a park or perhaps dinner or something like that. Well this girl needed a place to stay for Easter. So I was like hey come hang out at my place. No awkwardness at all. We are friends thats it. And she was really contemplating it. I would have enjoyed having one of my good friends come up and meet all of you. 

Then this weekend came. One of my very good friends here at school was hanging out with her all weekend - no big deal at all. This friend, who shall remain nameless, invited her home for Easter. She is now going with one of my friends and having me get and mail her mom's Easter present - because I am a nice guy.

This whole situation has been an eye opener in many ways. First of all - it hurt me a bit. And with the last blog I did about forgiveness - not for this girl because she is doing what she wants, but for this guy - has been tested like crazy. 

The main thing I have been learning is self worth. Over the weekend while I was in Florida, I was talking with a friend and we are going through almost identical situations and it is super easy to talk with her about them. This was one of the things we talked about this past weekend was self worth. I am made in His imagine. He loves me for me. 

It is super cool how God speaks so directly when we choose to listen and seek Him. Everything I have listened to or talked about over the last five days or so has come back to His incredible love for us. 

Last night at the Verge, our midweek college service, Neal said something that was like dang ok thanks God. Here is what he said. 

"Quit wasting time trying to gain acceptance from others because you will never be satisfied. Is God not enough for you?"

Well thank you, Neal. Even in my quiet time, I have been reading Ephesians (one of my favorite books of the Bible) and in chapter 1 it pretty much tells us that He loves us so much to adopt us into His family. Verses 3 and 4 really jump off the page to me.

"Blessed be the God and Father of out Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places to Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him."

We are His and He has blessed us with more than we can imagine. Why am I trying to change myself so that I can fit in with other people? Each morning, there is nothing like waking up and knowing that the creator of the universe chose me to be His.


Remember that you are loved by God. You are worth more than anything in this world, and simply be yourself. 

Forgive and Forget

I feel I owe an apology to many of you. I have failed as a friend, a brother, a son. 


I have really been challenged by this one thing called the Bible. It is super uplifting, and I have a difficult time making through my day without reading it. However, it drastically messes things up. 


Ephesians 4:1 says, "I, a prisoner of the Lord Jesus Christ, implore you to walk in a manner worth of the calling with which you have been called."  One, that gets me asking what have I been called to do with my life? And two, once I figure out what I am called to do, how must I walk? What do I have to change? 


As I have been praying and studying and reading, I am finding that my calling does not lie in journalism, baseball, missions, or even family. My calling, along with each of yours, is to be 100% obedient to the Lord. 


Well, I am sure if you are a Christian you have probably heard that one before, but the next question is how do I know what He wants. The answer is simple. God gave us the Bible, it is 100% truth, He manifest Himself in us through the Holy Spirit, and through the Holy Spirit we can communicate through prayer. By allowing the Holy Spirit and the Bible to speak to and for us, we are able to clearly see how we are to obey.


For me to continue to walk in a way worthy of our calling, lets look at the Lord's Prayer

"Our Father who is in Heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

Thy kingdom come.

Your will be done, 

On earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen."

We are all pretty familiar with that prayer. It comes from Matthew 6:9-13. One thing that I have never latched on to is the phrase, "as we also have forgiven our debtors." I pay attention to the "forgive us" part, but in my selfishness fail to see that I also have to forgive in my prayers. 

Have you ever read on just past the Lord's prayer? The first two verses are very interesting. Verses 14 and 15 say,

"For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions."

I have found those verses pounding on my heart like a hammer on a nail over the past few days. I want to say that I have made a pact to forgive, not because I want to be forgiven, but because of my desire to lead a life that is worthy of the calling with which we have been called. 

For those of you at home, I look forward to see you all again and seeing what the Lord is doing in your lives.